The People Who Shape Us: On Friendships, Mentors, and That Guy at the Coffee Shop
Monday morning thoughts coming at you from my favorite corner table at Melrose Coffee Collective. It's just past 9AM and I'm people-watching while procrastinating on my pattern-making assignment (sorry Professor Kim, I'll get to it after this coffee, promise).
So yesterday, Jen and I had this deep conversation about how different we both are from when we first became roommates freshman year. She pointed out that I dress completely differently now, which got me thinking about how much the people around us shape who we become.
Like, two years ago I was literally dressing to impress my ex Tyler, who was into that minimalist, neutral aesthetic. Now I look at my outfit today – this vintage kimono-inspired jacket with my handmade patchwork jeans – and realize I'm finally dressing for ME. But I wouldn't have found this style without Professor Rivera pushing me to explore, or without my friend Kai who took me to my first vintage swap meet.
It's weird how we evolve through our relationships, you know? Sometimes it's obvious, like when someone directly influences you. But sometimes it's subtle – like how I started taking more creative risks after watching my classmate Elena get praised for her "completely impractical but absolutely gorgeous" designs.
Even the cute barista here (update: his name is Nico and we had an actual conversation today beyond my coffee order!) has influenced me. He mentioned loving the color-blocking on my bag last week, and suddenly I'm incorporating more bold color contrasts in my newest sketches.
I guess what I'm realizing is that finding my authentic voice doesn't mean isolating myself from influences. It means being intentional about who I let influence me. The people who encourage my true self versus those who make me shrink to fit their expectations.
So here's my Monday wisdom: pay attention to who makes you feel more like YOU. Those are your people. Those are the relationships worth nurturing as we all figure out who we're becoming.
Now, back to that pattern-making assignment... right after I sketch this new idea that just came to me.
- Mandy