The Unexpected Conversation That Made Everything Click
It's just past 9AM on Thursday, and I'm tucked into my favorite corner of my apartment, sunlight streaming through the blinds I keep meaning to replace. I've got my sketchbook balanced on my knees and a half-empty coffee mug that's definitely cold by now, but I had to pause and write this down while it's fresh.
Last night changed something for me, and I'm still processing exactly what happened.
After spending all day refining my collection designs (thanks for the tough love, Professor Rivera), I was mentally exhausted but too wired to sleep. So I did what any reasonable fashion student would do at 8PM on a Wednesday – I went to Melrose Coffee Collective right before closing.
The place was empty except for Nico, who was cleaning up. Instead of my usual order, he offered me the experimental drink he was working on – some lavender honey thing that was honestly life-changing. But that's not the important part.
We ended up talking for almost an hour about creative integrity. Not in those exact words, but that's what it was. He's actually a sculptor when he's not making coffee, and he described this moment when he stopped creating what he thought galleries wanted and started making what felt honest.
"The weird thing," he said, "is that the work I made just for myself ended up connecting with people more than anything I'd designed to be crowd-pleasing."
Something about hearing this from someone outside fashion made it click differently. I've been so caught up in this idea of finding my authentic voice within design that I forgot the whole point: authentic expression naturally connects.
Looking at my revised sketches this morning, I can see which elements still feel like I'm trying too hard versus which ones come from a genuine place. The difference is subtle but unmistakable – like the difference between someone reciting memorized lines versus speaking from the heart.
Four days into this "be authentic" journey and I'm realizing authenticity isn't the destination – it's the practice. It's asking myself with each decision: am I doing this to impress someone, check a box, or fulfill an expectation? Or am I doing this because it genuinely expresses something I want to say?
I don't have it all figured out, but for the first time, I feel like I'm asking the right questions.
- Mandy