Connecting the Dots: Finding Patterns in My Growth Journey

It's Monday morning in LA, and I'm sitting at my favorite coffee shop near campus, trying to process everything that's happened over the past week. The barista just called out "oat milk latte for the girl who looks like she hasn't slept" – which, rude but accurate. I've been up since 5 AM with my mind racing, connecting dots I didn't even realize were related.

Something Professor Martinez said yesterday during our one-on-one keeps replaying in my head: "Growth isn't linear, Mandy. It's cyclical. Look for the patterns."

At first, I nodded along like I totally got it (classic student move), but this morning it actually clicked. Looking back at just this past week – from my design epiphany last Thursday, to realizing how relationships shape us on Saturday, to yesterday's breakdown-turned-breakthrough – I can see this weird pattern forming.

Each time I hit a wall, I've emerged with a clearer sense of my voice. Each time I've felt lost, someone has reflected something back to me that I couldn't see myself. It's like I've been doing this dance between internal discovery and external feedback, between solitary creation and collaborative insight.

The funny thing is, I always thought finding "my authentic self" as a designer would be this dramatic moment – like the fashion equivalent of a Disney princess transformation scene. Instead, it's been these small, interconnected moments that build on each other. The freshman questioning my asymmetry. Jen pointing out "that's so you." Professor Martinez reframing my roadblocks.

I'm starting to think that growth isn't about becoming someone new, but about recognizing patterns in who you've always been.

This morning I laid out all my recent sketches on my bedroom floor (sorry, roommate) and for the first time, I could see a consistent thread running through them – not just in aesthetics but in intention. There's a pattern to how I approach silhouettes, to the problems I'm trying to solve, to the questions I'm asking through my designs.

I'm not saying I've got it all figured out – I definitely don't. But I'm learning to trust the process, to see the roadblocks as part of the pattern rather than interruptions to it.

Maybe that's what this evolution thing is really about: not just changing, but recognizing the meaning in how we change.

Now excuse me while I order another coffee and try to translate these 5 AM epiphanies into actual design work.

- Mandy