Sunday Reflections: Finding My Creative Rhythm in the Chaos

It's a surprisingly cool Sunday morning in LA, and I'm curled up on my apartment balcony watching the city slowly wake up. There's something magical about these quiet moments just after 9 AM when everything feels possible.

I've been thinking about something that happened yesterday in the design studio. I was struggling with a technical issue on my collection (because of course that sustainable fabric situation continues to evolve in unexpected ways 🙃), and I caught myself doing something new. Instead of my usual spiral of self-doubt, I actually stopped, took a breath, and thought, "What's the pattern here?"

It sounds small, but it felt significant. Like I'm finally developing this internal rhythm for navigating challenges instead of being completely thrown by them each time.

The past few days have been this intense crash course in self-awareness – from recognizing how relationships shape me to seeing obstacles as opportunities to now noticing these patterns in how I respond to things. It's like I'm developing a creative process not just for my designs, but for my personal growth too.

My roommate Emma noticed it too. Last night while we were making dinner, she said, "You seem different lately – more grounded." At first I laughed it off (being "grounded" has never been my brand), but the more I think about it, the more it resonates.

I'm still me – still overthinking everything, still getting way too excited about color palettes, still sending regrettable late-night texts (sorry not sorry). But there's this new layer of awareness underneath it all. Like I can feel the patterns forming in real-time and make conscious choices about them.

Maybe this is what Professor Rivera meant when she talked about "design consciousness" – that ability to simultaneously create something while observing the process of creating it.

I don't know if I'm explaining this well. It's subtle. But it feels like I'm finally finding my rhythm – in design, in relationships, in handling obstacles, in everything. Not perfect harmony, but something authentic that's uniquely mine.

Anyway, my coffee's getting cold and I promised myself I'd sketch for an hour before meeting Jen for brunch. Here's to Sunday reflections and finding our rhythms in the beautiful chaos.