The Echo Chamber of Relationships: How Others Shape Our Becoming
It's just past 9 AM on a Wednesday in Los Angeles, and I'm people-watching at my favorite coffee shop on Melrose instead of being in my pattern-making class. Don't judge—sometimes you need caffeine and perspective more than technical instruction, right?
Yesterday's vulnerability experiment got me thinking about something bigger. After sharing those rejection emails and witnessing everyone's response, I realized how profoundly we're shaped by our relationships. Not just romantic ones (though the situationship with Ethan is definitely shaping my trust issues), but ALL of them.
We're constantly evolving in these invisible feedback loops with everyone around us. My designs changed after Professor Garcia questioned my color choices last month. My morning routine transformed after my roommate Jess started that 5 AM yoga challenge. Even my coffee order evolved because the cute barista here recommended oat milk instead of almond.
It's like we're all clay being molded not just by our own hands, but by everyone who touches our lives.
The scary part? Recognizing how much power I've given to certain people. That ex who said I was "too much" three years ago? I've been unconsciously dimming myself in every relationship since. The high school teacher who praised my "commercial appeal"? I've been fighting against accessible design even when it's what I genuinely love.
But here's the revelation hitting me this morning: evolution through relationships isn't about becoming who others want you to be—it's about becoming more authentically yourself through what those interactions reveal.
The most transformative relationships in my life haven't been the ones where someone tried to mold me, but the ones where someone held up a mirror so I could see myself more clearly. Like when my dad asked why I always hide my sketches, or when my best friend pointed out that I apologize before sharing every opinion.
Maybe mastery isn't independence from others' influence, but discernment about which reflections to take to heart and which to release.
So I'm sitting here wondering: How conscious are we of how our relationships shape us? And more importantly, how can we participate more intentionally in each other's becoming?