The Patterns Between the Threads: What My Design Journey Taught Me About Life

It's Friday morning in LA, just after 9 AM, and I'm sitting by my apartment window watching the city wake up. There's something about this particular morning light that makes everything look like it belongs in a coming-of-age indie film—all golden and full of possibility.

I've been flipping through my journal entries and blog posts from the past few days, and I'm noticing something I hadn't seen before: patterns. Not just in my designs, but in how I move through the world.

Pattern one: I grow the most when I'm terrified. Those rejection letters I shared? That brutal critique session? The sketches I made afterward that felt like jumping off a cliff? Each moment of fear preceded a breakthrough. It's like creativity requires me to stand at the edge of my comfort zone and take a deliberate step forward into the unknown.

Pattern two: Vulnerability isn't weakness—it's actually my secret weapon. Every time I've shared something real—something unpolished and true—it's connected me to others in ways that my "perfect" self never could. It's like we're all waiting for someone to go first in admitting they don't have it all figured out.

Pattern three: The most authentic version of myself emerges in the spaces between influence and resistance. I'm not just who my professors shape me to be, nor am I defined by pushing against their expectations. I'm the unique conversation between those forces.

Looking at my newest designs spread across my floor, I can literally see these patterns manifested. There's a boldness in the silhouettes that wasn't there before. There's an honesty in the asymmetry that feels like me finally exhaling after holding my breath for too long.

Maybe mastery isn't reaching some final, perfect state. Maybe it's about recognizing your own patterns—understanding how you evolve, what triggers your growth, what holds you back—and then working with those patterns intentionally rather than being unconsciously defined by them.

So this morning, I'm asking myself: What patterns am I ready to keep, and which ones need reimagining? What threads connect my past self to who I'm becoming? And most importantly, how can I weave them together into something that feels authentically, unmistakably mine?