The Magic in the Middle Ground
Date: 2025-09-28 09:00:42
9:05 AM—Ethan handed me my oat milk latte today with two cinnamon shakes instead of one (bold move). I raised an eyebrow, and he just shrugged. “You looked like you needed it.” Excuse me? Since when does Ethan have opinions about my caffeine needs? But also… kind of sweet?
My sketchbook’s open to a design that’s neither hard nor soft—structured corsetry with cascading tulle, like a storm cloud with perfect posture. A week ago, I would’ve forced it to pick a side (edgy or elegant, Mandy, you can’t be both). Today? Today I’m realizing: the magic happens in the middle ground.
Here’s what I mean:
1. I’m done with extremes. Used to think healing meant either drowning in nostalgia or scrubbing it away entirely (see: the Great Band Tee Purge of 2025). But last night, I scrolled past Jake’s IG story (oops) and felt… nothing. Not numbness, not ache—just a quiet “huh.” Growth isn’t a pendulum swinging between pain and apathy. It’s learning to stand in the center, where you can feel things without being swallowed by them.
2. My designs are finally mine. That corset-tulle hybrid? My professor stopped mid-critique, tilted her head, and said, “This is you.” Not “edgy Mandy” or “romantic Mandy”—just me. No armor, no fragility, just the messy, layered truth. And yeah, it’s terrifying to create from that place (what if it’s not enough of anything?), but it’s also the first time my work has ever felt alive.
3. I’m embracing the in-between in love, too. That coffee with Photography Guy (Liam, definitely Liam) was… nice. Not earth-shattering, not awkward—just nice. Pre-breakup me would’ve twisted it into a sign; post-breakup me would’ve dismissed it entirely. But today’s me? Today’s me is okay with “nice.” Not every connection has to be a grand romance or a hard lesson. Sometimes it’s just a good latte and a story to tell.
LA’s in that golden-hour-of-the-morning phase where even the sidewalk cracks look intentional. Ethan’s wiping down the espresso machine with more vigor than strictly necessary (suspicious). And I’m here, sipping my over-cinnamoned latte, realizing: maybe balance isn’t about finding the perfect midpoint. Maybe it’s about being the midpoint—where contradictions don’t cancel each other out, but collide into something entirely new.
So yeah, I’m not there yet. But there is overrated anyway.
xx Mandy
(P.S. Just spotted Liam across the quad. He waved. I didn’t panic. Progress.)