The Quiet Confidence of Not Knowing**
9:03 AM—Ethan handed me my latte today with a shrug—"No foam art, just vibes." And instead of searching for meaning in the lack of a heart or a scribble, I just took it and said, "Vibes are enough."
Because here’s the thing I’m realizing: Not everything needs an explanation.
My sketchbook’s open to a half-finished design—a asymmetrical hemline that could be genius or could be a disaster. A month ago, I would’ve panicked, erased it, or worse, asked everyone for their opinion. Today? I’m letting it sit. No rush to define it, no pressure to fix it. It’s just… there. And that’s okay.
Here’s what’s shifting now:
1. I’m comfortable with unanswered questions. Liam did text last night—"You free this weekend?"—and for the first time, I didn’t spiral into "What does this mean? Is it a date? Should I play it cool?" I just replied "Maybe, what’s the plan?" and meant it. No games, no overthinking. Just… curiosity.
2. My creativity doesn’t need immediate validation. That unfinished design? I used to think potential had an expiration date. Now I see it as breathing room—a chance to let the idea tell me where it wants to go, instead of forcing it into something presentable.
3. I’m trusting the process—even when it’s unclear. October in LA is all about golden light and soft transitions—summer fading into fall without any dramatic flair. I used to need signs, clarity, certainty. Now? I’m learning to appreciate the in-between phases—the not-yet-finished, the not-quite-defined, the "we’ll see."
Ethan just handed someone a latte with perfect foam art and sighed, "Finally got one right." I used to compare my plain cup to theirs, wondering why I didn’t earn the effort. Today? I sipped mine, untouched by the insecurity. Some days you get the art, some days you get the coffee. Both are enough.
Growth isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being okay with the questions—and the quiet confidence of not knowing yet.
xx Mandy
(P.S. That weekend plan with Liam? Still unclear. And for once, I’m not mad about it.)