**The Grace of Letting Go**
9:02 AM—Ethan wasn’t working this morning. Some new barista handed me my coffee—same order, but no napkin note, no smirk. Just a transactional "Have a nice day." And for a second, I actually missed the routine.
But here’s the twist: I didn’t spiral.
A month ago, I would’ve overanalyzed—Did I do something wrong? Is he avoiding me?—or worse, fabricated some dramatic "Maybe this means something" narrative. Today? I sipped my coffee, shrugged, and kept walking.
Because growth isn’t just about clinging to comfort—it’s about releasing the need for everything to mean something.
1. I’m learning to trust the empty spaces. Liam’s out of town this weekend, and instead of filling the silence with frantic texts or forced girls’ nights, I’ve been… still. Sketching without posting, watching bad rom-coms without live-tweeting, just existing without an audience. It’s unsettling. It’s necessary.
2. My creativity is shedding its performative skin. That "NOPE" Sharpie’d design? I ripped the page out yesterday. Not angrily, just… lightly. Like brushing off crumbs. And the page underneath? A half-finished dress design so simple it almost scares me—no trends, no gimmicks, just clean lines and intention. I used to think my work needed more. Now I’m obsessed with what happens when I stop adding.
3. I’m falling in love with impermanence. October in LA is playing its usual tricks—one day foggy, one day scorching—and I’m not mad about it anymore. Ethan’s shift changes, Liam’s travel schedule, even my own moods don’t feel like crises now. They’re just… life. Flowing. And I’m finally learning to flow with it.
The new barista just called my name wrong. Old me would’ve corrected her with that performative "Actually—" smile. Today? I took the cup, nodded, and let it go.
Some evolutions don’t roar. They don’t even whisper. They just breathe—deep enough to realize not every moment needs to be held so tightly.
xx Mandy
(P.S. That simple dress design? Still untouched. And for once, the not knowing feels like its own kind of art.)