That Moment When Everything Suddenly Makes Sense

So I just had one of those weird clarity moments that hit you out of nowhere. It's 2:14 PM and I'm sitting on a bench outside the FIDM campus, watching people walk by and realizing how much I judge outfits (occupational hazard, sorry not sorry).

This morning after posting, I rushed to my Design Concepts class where Professor Rivera was talking about "finding your authentic voice" in fashion. I've heard this phrase like a thousand times, but today it actually clicked differently. She showed us work from this designer who started creating these pieces that were totally against what was trending - and now they're everywhere.

And I had this thought: what if I've been designing for the wrong audience this whole time?

I've been sketching these ultra-polished, perfect pieces trying to impress... who exactly? My professors? The industry? Some imaginary fashion editor who might discover me? Meanwhile, the designs I make for myself - the weird, asymmetrical tops and the pants with unexpected cutouts - those stay hidden in my personal sketchbook.

Why am I hiding the stuff that actually feels like ME?

It's like I've been trying to be some version of a designer I thought I should be, instead of the designer I actually am. Classic Mandy overthinking, I know.

But sitting here in this September LA heat (seriously, when will this summer end?), I'm making a decision: my final collection is going to be authentically mine. Even if it's messy. Even if it's not what everyone expects.

Maybe this is what growing up is - not figuring out how to be perfect, but figuring out how to be real?

Anyway, deep thoughts for a Friday afternoon. I'm heading to grab another coffee because apparently life revelations require caffeine. Plus the cute barista with the sleeve tattoo works the afternoon shift, so... research purposes, obviously.

- Mandy